How to Handle Criticism Without Losing Confidence
In the ultra-competitive realm of sports, athletes constantly receive feedback from coaches, parents, teammates, fans, and the media. At its best, feedback is constructive, relevant, and fuels growth. However, it can also take the form of harsh criticism that feels personal, shakes confidence, and creates self-doubt. Unfortunately, at some point, all athletes will likely experience harsh criticism. However, most athletes will never be taught or equipped with the mental tools needed to process and manage the criticism effectively.
In a perfect world, all feedback would be constructive and delivered in a healthy, effective manner. However, in the sports world, we all know that it is often a fallacy. Thus, it only makes sense to give our athletes the mental tools to effectively process and manage this criticism effectively. In the following section, I will discuss a mental skill I frequently use with my athletes to help them navigate criticism and stay focused on their growth.
The “Feedback Filter”
In the heat of the moment during a competitive game, processing and managing criticism can be incredibly challenging. Specifically, when emotions run high, it's easy to take feedback or criticism personally, lose focus, and react impulsively, all of which lead to a decline in performance. Thus, the “Feedback Filter” is a mental tool that can be utilized to help athletes stay focused and perform optimally.
Step 1: Pause + Breath
The first step is to pause and calm your nervous system, allowing you to avoid impulsive reactions and regain control. I often have my athletes do what is called “Box Breathing”, which is a simple technique that helps regulate breathing and promote a sense of calm.
Step 2: Assess the Source
The second step is to assess the source in order to determine the relevancy and legitimacy of the criticism. Ask yourself, “Who is providing the feedback?”. If the criticism is coming from the media or a fan, it may be coming from someone who is not truly in the know, and often intended for entertainment rather than accuracy. However, if it comes from a coach or trusted mentor, it’s more likely to be constructive and worth considering.
Step 3: Assess the Motive
The third step is to assess the motive in order to understand the intent behind the criticism. Ask yourself, “Why might they be giving me this feedback or criticism?”. If it’s coming from the media, it may be for entertainment or to generate attention. If it’s coming from an opponent or the other team’s fans, it may be an attempt to get in your head and throw you off your game. However, if it’s from a coach or teammate, it’s more likely meant to help you improve.
Step 4: Extract the Truth
The fourth step is to extract the possible truth from the feedback or criticism in order to identify valuable insights that can help you grow and improve, while disregarding the tone or any unhelpful elements. Let’s face it, many coaches haven’t taken courses on motivation or sports psychology, so their criticism may stem from an attempt to motivate. Thus, the takeaway for the athlete may be to play with more intensity or to put in more effort. Typically, but no always, there is a little truth in all feedback or criticism.
Overall, while criticism is an inevitable part of an athlete’s journey, learning how to process and manage it can make all the difference in maintaining confidence and performance.
If you want a personalized approach to managing criticism, feel free to reach out!
